Facing the day

With her coffee cup now empty Sally pondered what to do next. On the one hand the possibilities seemed almost endless but at the same time she wasn't sure if she really could be bothered to do anything. The quandaries of life when you had no one but yourself to think of.

Letting out a deep breath she didn't even know she was holding she took her cup to the sink and rinsed it out and placed in on the empty dish drainer. Looking at the small pile of dishes patiently waiting to be washed Sally decided that they could wait a little longer. Even though there were only a few there she just couldn't face them right then.

The pounding in her head had reduced somewhat but was still present enough to remind Sally it was there. Nothing two panadol and a gallon of water wouldn't fix though. Reaching for the box off the shelf she promptly popped two out of the packet and headed to the fridge for some cold water. Picking up a glass up on the way, she lingered with the fridge door open so she could once again enjoy the cool relief that came with it.

Gulping down big mouthfuls of water at a time Sally immediately felt a little better. It was like the cool liquid reduced her temperature from the inside out. All Sally could think about was submersing herself in water. Only who had a cool bath before eight in the morning? The public swimming pool wasn't really an option either. It was always heavily chlorinated and not conducive to the relaxing submersion that she longed for.

Looking at the weather app on her phone it appeared as if the heat was just going to keep on rising as the day went on. The expected maximin was 35 degrees. Not that Sally really minded. She much preferred to be hot than cold. At least cooling down was much easier than warming up. Once the cold got into her bones Sally found it hard to shake. One of the reasons she took the job in the dusty little mining town was because it was guaranteed to never drop below 18 degrees. Just the way Sally liked it. The other reason was because it was in the middle of no where, where no one knew her which made it easier to try and escape her past. The life she left behind before moving to Tieri was one that she had no desire to remember in anyway. The pain of it all was just too much to bare. Even the slightest detail of it could send Sally into a downward spiral that she feared would one day be the end of her. And while living was not exactly easy some days, it was something that she still wanted to do for a while.

Realising that sitting around the house was not going to do her any good Sally decided it was time to head out for the day. She had heard the locals talk of beautiful walking tracks and natural waterways not too far from town. She had been meaning to investigate them but as yet had not gotten around to it. Generally by the weekend the last thing Sally felt like doing was leaving the house but today she could already feel the walls closing in on her and she just knew it was best to not to sit and dwell today. Today needed to be a day of action else she would fall into the trap feeling sorry for herself and turning to her good friend Mr Alcohol. Thanks to last night's effort she was already on the verge of feeling quite sorry for herself. Besides she tried not to have her first drink until after the pub opened. There were still a few hours before that would happen.

With as much enthusiasm as she could muster Sally filled a couple of water bottles, grabbed a few snacks, her shoes and socks and headed out the door. With any luck a bit of fresh air and hopefully a swim in some rock pool somewhere would be just what she needed.

Having a coffee

Walking into the kitchen Sally headed straight to the coffee machine. There wasn't much that coffee couldn't fix and Sally was certain it would once again be her magic fix. Popping the pod into the slot she pulled the handle down till she heard the crunch of the pod's seal being pierced. Taking a deep breath she tried to wait patiently for the little blue light to flash at her and indicate that it was now time to press the button. Some days, actually most days, waiting for that little flashing light was like waiting for eternally.

There was no doubt about it, Sally was a coffee girl. Sally found it hard to believe some days, just how badly she wanted, if not needed, a cup of the hot steamy liquid that she was certain could bring world peace if everyone just sat down and had one with some cake. She would often happily quip that she thought there was nothing that a good coffee and some cake couldn't fix.

As good as she knew them to be though deep down she knew that there were some problems that the old cake and coffee just couldn't fix. Problems that cut her to the core and would never leave her be. Problems that she was certain would haunt her for the rest of her life. Problems that while coffee didn't fix it did make them bearable. Some days Sally was positive she only made it through the day thanks to the coffee.

She was unable to pinpoint when this caffeine addiction was actually formed. She suspected that it slowly evolved. A natural progression in life that is really just part and parcel of growing up. Wasn't it the drink of adults?

Noticing the light finally flashing Sally pressed the required button. The delicious smell of the fresh coffee beans wafting through the poky little kitchen as a light steam from the machine quickly dissipated into the air. Her nostrils greedily inhaling the the aroma, tantalising her taste buds and kicking her impatience for her fix into over drive.

Opening the fridge door she enjoyed the cold blast that came with it. Now more than ever she was thankful she stood in that awful checkout line last night so she could have milk in her coffee. Yesterday, pouring curdled milk into her fresh brew was not a start she wanted to repeat again any time soon. On the upside, because Sally believed there always was an upside, at least the milk fiasco hadn't happened on a morning where she felt like she did today.

Placing the milk into the froth creating jug and switching it on the buzz of the machines began to drone in her already tender ears. She just kept telling herself it would be worth it in the end. The glorious first sip would gently seep into her soul and spread it's wonder through her. By the end of the cup she would feel ready and set for the day.

Or at least that was the plan. The way it was supposed to go. On many days it was that way, but whether or not today was one of those days remained to be seen. Sally felt she was yet to determine the fate of the day that still lay before. Saturday was one of the few days where Sally felt the was her own. There was no entitlement for her to think any needs save for her own. It was one of the things she loved most about her little shanty style country life.

From Monday to Friday she worked twelve to fifteen hour days that saw her constantly interacting with a range of people. From truck drivers, to geologists, managers, door operators and everything in between. None of them were people that she really had a chance to connect with. If by chance she actually had such a desire. Which for the most part she didn't. Not that it mattered, given the transient nature of most in the industry the turnover of staff was exceptional high. With just over six months of service under her belt Sally was virtually considered a long term employee. Most tended to say for three months. Few could stand it much longer than that, given the toughness of the conditions that were continually faced.

Unlike most of the workers at the mine who flew in and out on a regular basis, Sally actually lived in township that co existed with the mine. She found it easier that way. She had no one to fly home to every week or two. Or at all. There was no where else she needed to be and there wasn't anyone that needed her to be anywhere for them either. Besides she didn't need to regularly go to an airport. They were her most hated place on earth. Or one of. There was no way she could cope with all that regular flying, regardless of the size of the plane or anything else. It was just easier to live near the mine.

The upside to not having a fly in and out position was Sally only had to work Monday to Friday. The shift crews could work for ten to eight days straight. Sally wasn't interested in that kind of life. After five days she needed a break. In fact some weeks she needed that break after only a day or two. There was no way she could last longer than five days with out a break, and if there was then she didn't want to know about it.

Picking up her coffee cup she hoped to find at least one last mouthful left. She nearly felt like she could face the day. Not wanting the fate of the day to be determined by coffee dregs Sally took a deep breath and peered down into her coffee cup.

Oh sweet joy. It looked like there was at least one good mouthful. There was hope for the day after all.

Saturday Morning

Rolling over Sally could feel her head throb. A dull slow throb that warned her about the perils of getting up. Even moving too much threatened to make the dull slow throb turn into more of a thumping pound. Her body was crying out for water. Both inside and out. The stickiness of the day before lingering on her unwashed skin. As hot as it was outside when she went to bed last night, she decided against having a shower before her body crashed between the comfort of her thousand count sheets. The Egyptian cotton a special Christmas present that she treated herself to every year. It was one of the few real luxuries that the enjoyed.

Her father had always said that going to bed with wet hair was a sure fire way to catch a cold. It was just something that had always stuck with her. With thick golden locks that nearly reached her waist it was hard not to get her hair wet when she showered. Sometimes it was easier if she just didn't shower unless she was prepared to have wet hair. Not only that but to her it was nearly torturous to forgo the pleasure that came with submersing one's face amongst the tiny bullets of water that were released by the shower head. Besides the air conditioner was on so it wasn't like she had to cool down.

Slowly opening one eye, Sally was expecting the brightness of the morning sun to bring a sting with it. It must have been earlier than what she realised because there was barely a glow coming through the windows. The curtains were darkish, but they did not stop all the light. Squinting she turned her head towards the clock. It felt like her brain had shrivelled up and was now rolling around her skull. How she wished she could magic some water to the bedroom. The furs on her tongue felt like they were standing on end. Filling her dry mouth and parched throat.

Barely able to make much sense of the little red numbers Sally decided that it was 5.22 or there abouts. Certainly still to early to consider getting up on a Saturday. Braving movement Sally stretched her arms and legs out. Rolling over she was suddenly reminded of the emptiness of her big bed. It made her want to curl back up into a little ball. To take up as little room as possible. All that space did nothing but sting and make her want to cry.

There was a time when she once longed to have space in there to herself. A time when the bed felt cramped and crowded. There was no room for rolling over or stretching out. Oh how she longed to go back to that time. Back to when she was never alone.

The painful reminder of the past was too much to bear. There was no way she could go back to sleep now. The risk of seeing what she so desperately longed for in a dream as she slumbered to great to chance. For some reason she felt that it was easier to shut out the painful truth if she was awake. She was able to control the thoughts that tried to flash through her waking time. When she was sleeping her mind was too free to explore it's deep dark crevices. Crevices that seemed to hold things that were both real and not. It had a habit of showing her things in dreams that she at times perhaps wished it didn't.

Being awake allowed her to remain in a safe place. One where she could block out the life she once had. A life that she wished more than anything had not be snatched away from herpecially if she was busy doing other things. Which she always was. She had to be. It was the only way that she was able to functionally exist. Though Sally questioned at times just how functional her existence really was anymore.

Unable to delay the inevitable Sally sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Moving way to fast as she did so. Her throbbing head throbbing faster and harder than before. Hoping it might ease with a shower she got up and headed towards the door. Momentarily pausing to consider whether or not to take the sheets off the bed. Saturday was sheet changing day. Or at least it was supposed to be. For now though the sheets could stay where they were. Changing sheets was the last thing she felt like doing right now. Anyway there was still a chance that she could shortly be returning to lay down. Even if she could have been bothered to take them off then, there was little to no chance she felt like putting the clean ones on. It could all just wait till later.

As she reached the door Sally picked up the air conditioner remote from the wall. It was held in a bracket next to the fan and light switches by the doorway. It reminded Sally of a hotel. Which in many ways she liked. Pointing it at the wall unit on the other side of the room she pressed the off button. It was a high powered unit so it cooled the room down quickly, there was no need to leave it running, just in case she felt like a sleep later. The price of electricity made that far from feasible. Even with all the rebates that she got given for working in such a hot, remote and dusty little town.

Returning the remote to it's cradle her other hand reluctantly went to turn the door handle. She knew that the air on the other side of the door was not going to be nearly as pleasant as it was in the bedroom. Even if it was still early in the morning.

Taking a step back as she pulled the door towards her she was met with a wall of mugginess. Worse than what she expected. Heading to the bathroom she felt the coolness in her body quickly disappear. It was the thing she disliked most about the artificial temperature, adjusting back to reality. Which was why she generally only used it on the weekends. That and the price of using it all the time. Even though she was well paid and had few expenses, Sally couldn't see the point wasting more money than need be. Excessive electricity in her mind was sometimes a waste. Even though a good portion of the small house was powered by solar, the air conditioner was yet to be converted to run off the natural resource.

Slipping her knickers off she sat on the loo. Her body instantly relieved to no longer moving. It still felt like there were parts of her, mainly in her head, that were still waiting to catch up. Once her bladder was empty Sally once again gathered the motivation needed to stand up and move to the shower.

Leaning against the wall she could feel the cool tiles of the shower recess against her skin. Even though it was still early the promised heat of the day could already be felt. This combined with her body trying to adjust to the non air conditioned air was almost too much to bare. It just seemed to make her head hurt even more.

Turning the taps on she just instinctively went for the hot water. Everything always seemed better with hot water. Her body suddenly aching from the week that was. Though most it was probably directly related to the excessive beer consumption the night before.

Stepping out of the shower Sally felt nearly human again. She loved how water could do that to her. It almost felt as if the pores in her skin opened up and she was able to absorb the moisture directly through her skin. Rehydrating the dry cells, filling them for the day to come.

Deciding that the towel was somewhat pointless Sally turned the small wall fan on and stood infront of it. The semi cool air blowing straight onto her wet body. Both drying and cooling her at once. Sally had to admit it was one of the things she loved most about the heat. Towel drying her body was something that she could recall disliking for as long as she could remember.

Giving her slender body a shake she decided that she was dry enough to leave the bathroom without dripping too much on the floors. She momentarily forgot about the tenderness in her head. The shaking quickly reminding her of the rattling effect her brain was currently experiencing.

She was sure when she went to bed she wasn't that pissed. Sure she had had a few, but it was Friday night...and there was a time when she had consumed much more and felt a lot less worse.

Swirling the mouthwash round in her mouth she could feel it destroying the awful furriness that was present when she woke. She loved how the sting of the liquid seemed to just burn away the yuckiness and eventually leave her teeth and gums tingly fresh. Right then and there as she stood staring at her puffy eyes with her sore head the her tingly gums and clean teeth were near on the best feeling in the world. Sally wasn't really sure why but for some reason it gave her a glimmer of hope for the day ahead of her.

Gently bending over and careful not to move to fast Sally wrapped her wet hair in the towel. Securing it in a turban like way that somehow seemed to ease the pressure inside her head. It almost felt like the towel was holding her head together. As much as she might have been able to let her body drip dry there was no way her long locks would every drip dry. 

Beside that Sally had gone to the effort of putting a treatment through. After a long week in and out the mine it was just riddled with dust. Some days Sally was almost envious the male workers and there short dos. Though it wasn't just the males who kept their hair short at the mine. Even the few other female workers seemed to have short hassle free hair.

As much trouble as it was at times Sally just couldn't bear the thought getting it chopped off. She felt it was the last thing that linked her to the past. As much as she didn't want to remember life back then she couldn't just let it go either. Her hair was the one thing that had been with Sally through it all. Even though it was only hair and couldn't actually do anything for her Sally found great comfort in the fact she hadn't had it cut since that dreadful day.

The Mining Town Supermarket

It had been a long day. A really, really long day. Again. Lately every day felt like it was longer than the last. Which would have been bearable Sally were able to get more done. Instead it seemed like she was constantly achieving less and less. All the while her to do list was growing at exponential rates. She knew that life wasn't meant to be easy but she didn't understand why it had to be so damn hard all the time either.

Taking a deep breath she tried to regain some composure. She could feel herself beginning to crumble and more than anything she didn't want that to happen. Standing in what felt like the longest line in the history supermarket checkouts, with what was possibly the slowest operator since time began was not the time to burst into tears over the crapness that was her life.

With there still three people in front of her, two of which had rather full trolleys, Sally wondered whether she really needed what was in her basket. It never ceased to amaze her how supermarkets had endless checkouts, yet there was never more than one or two open at a time.

While she may not have had much to buy it was her dinner and fresh milk for coffee in the morning. Neither of which she really wanted to go with out. Especially the milk. She went with out coffee this morning and it was a less than perfect start to what turned out to be a far from pleasant day. She really didn't want to start tomorrow the same way. As it was her life felt like groundhog day, without her aid.

Sure the was still time stop on the way home and grab a bite to eat at the local diner, but they didn't sell milk. She was not going home without milk and that's all there was to it. Thanks to the size of the town she lived in there wasn't even another supermarket that she could go and try her luck at, which was probably why there was only one checkout open with the world's slowest operator on it where she was.

Sighing she slowly shuffled forward. One trolley down, one hand basket and another over flowing trolley to go and it was her turn. At least now she was close enough to grab a magazine and flick through it in the hope that time would pass quicker.

Nearly twenty minutes later she was finally on her way but at least she had milk and there was now a chance that at least tomorrow could start better than today. At least it couldn't start any worse. Since tomorrow was Saturday, with meant no work and possibly a little lie in, and now having milk the day was actually shaping up quite nicely.

Walking down the road towards home Sally could feel the heaviness in the air. It hadn't rained for months now. A layer of red dust seemed to cover everything, hovering, waiting for the next object to stick to. It was the one thing that really drove her insane. She longed for the rains to come and wash it all away, taking with it the stifling heat that even after the sunset would linger until the early hours of the morning and returning the moment the sun rose.

Even after five years of living there she still couldn't adjust to the ridiculous weather at this time of year. The nights were nearly as hot as the days and the seemingly endless wait for the relief of coolness that would come with rain. Of course within two months of the rain starting to fall she would then have to start worrying about flooding. Mother Nature sure could be a bitch about things at times, there was no doubt about that.

Opening the front door to her boxy little unit Sally was greeted by a gush of warm air that was desperate to escape the walls it had spent the day invading. Turning on the fan she hoped the blades would quickly move the stillness about and cool things, if only by a degree or two. At least it would be something.

Picking her shopping bags up she trudged through to the kitchen, on the way turning on lights and more fans as she passed by the switches. Momentarily contemplating turning the air conditioner on she decided against. As much as it might bring relief it would also cost a fortune and just make tomorrow seem even hotter.

Truth be told she had never really been much into creating such false environments. She couldn't see how it could be good for the body. How could it ever acclimatise to the heat if she kept subjecting it such drastic changes?

Plonking the bags down she opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. Enjoying the blast of coldness that came with opening the fridge door. Once again finding herself consider the air conditioner, even if just for a little while.

Twisting the top of the beer bottle she swigged down the icy cold liquid. Gone were the days where she elegantly sipped expensive champagne from crystal glasses. Living in the middle of no where, surround by rough and tumble miners she quickly learnt to adjust. As an environment protection officer amongst miners, life was hard enough. Being a woman added to that ten fold. There was no need to stand out further by drinking the likes of Don Perignon.

Not that the local bottle shop sold such luxuries anyway. Sally was actually that they even had any champagne on the shelf. However after sampling both brands they had she quickly decided to find a new beverage of choice. At least beer was relatively cheap, drinkable and helped her fit in just a little. Well as much as her highly educated, big city living self could fit into a narrow minded, close knit and very small mining town could.

More coldness and another moment of relief as she opened the fridge door again to put the milk away and look at what she could add to her shopping for dinner. She had purchased a big juicy T-bone to cook up but could no longer be bothered. Between the heat and the lateness of the evening she was fast losing interest in eating. Another swig of her beer and she found herself putting the meat in the fridge as she headed to the cupboard in the search of a tin of baked beans.

Finding none she decided that eating was over rated and headed to the couch with her drink. She could recall her father saying 'there is a steak and two eggs in every can' referring to his beloved beer as her mother harassed him for not sitting down to eat a meal with them at the dinner table. She hated it at the time but now understood. A few more beers and she wouldn't need dinner either and chances were pretty good she would forget how hot and uncomfortable she was.

After an hour or so of channel surfing and more beers it was finally bed time. Sally picked her weary self up out of the couch and trudged down the hall to have a shower and then send herself off to the land of sleep.

Getting Away

Urrrggghhhhh she screamed. She felt like pulling her hair out and seriously contemplated the action as there was a possibility that the pain involved would be a distraction from the emotions that were currently rampaging through her system. Taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself down. The shaking had eased off somewhat, though there was still the odd tremor now and then, but on the whole her blood had ceased to boil and was now only a slight simmer.

She rested her head on the steering wheel.

Another deep breath and she felt almost together. The sound of the baby stirring in his car seat brought both comfort as well as more anguish.  It reminded her that she was still without a clear plan.  In fact she was actually without any plan at all.  She was suddenly realising that she had not thought any of this through at all.  Everything had happened so fast that there was no time to stop and think about it.

How could they possibly have had a baby in such a place?  And not just any old baby either.  No.  It was her baby.  Her precious little bundle of joy that she had been forced to hand over.  Her flesh and blood that was practically ripped out of her arms the moment he left the safety of her womb.

She still couldn't believe that she had really agreed to it all.  But they had been so convincing.  They had made it seem like there was no other option.  They made her believe their lies and doubt her ability.  How could she have been so stupid?

Now was not the time to think about any of that now.  What ever lead she had was quickly diminishing. She wondered how long it would be before they noticed he was no longer in the nursery.  She shuddered just thinking about that awful place.

Her head was well and truly pounding.  She felt fuzzy and unsteady.  She must have hit her head as the car spun out of control.  It was hard to decide what to do next.  Turning the key in the ignition all she heard was the engine whir.  There was no way she would be able to get it started.   She unclipped her seatbelt and turned to look in the back.

Brenton was still snuggly in his car seat oblivious to it all.  Which she was rather glad about.  The pour little soul had already seen enough drama without watching his mother slash kidnapper aquaplane across a puddle in a hurried escape.

Taking a deep breath and pulling herself together Rebecca opened the car door and got out.  She had no option but to carry on by foot.  Opening the back door she leant over the car seat and place a kiss on Brenton's forehead.

"It's alright darling, mummy is here now.  Everything will be alright and we will never be apart again" She whispered into his ear as she lifted him out of the seat.  She pulled him in close and wrapped her arms around him.  It was much colder than she expected.  Darkness wasn't too far away so she knew it would only be getting worse.  Thankfully her jacket was thick and warm.  She knew that if it came to the worst it would be warm enough to wrap the baby in.  There was no way he would be getting cold.

With a final check through the car she decided there was nothing else of use in it.  She had wasted enough time and needed to get moving while there was still some light.  She looked over at the quickly setting sun.  It was the direction she had just come.  Turning away she hoped that neither her or her son would ever have to return.

While every inch of her being wanted to run she knew that she had to conserve her energy.  She would be of no use to anyone, least of all her son if she didn't think sensibly.  After all she had been through in the last few weeks she certainly did not want to fall in a heap and lose it all now.  So she resisted the overwhelming urge to run and just kept on walking. It felt like she had been going on for hours but she knew it was unlikely that even an hour had passed since her escape.

The sun was gone now, though it still wasn't dark dark.  There was a twilighty glow that was holding of the inevitable darkness.  She felt a chill go through her bones.  She couldn't tell whether it was from the cold or from thinking about the onset of darkness.  Either way it didn't matter, she was powerless to do anything about either of them.

Looking into the distance she could see a beam of light coming towards.  Still not really sure of what the next step of her plan was she decided the best thing to do was get out of sight.  Whoever it was coming towards her was heading towards where she was trying to escape from.  There was no point risking being taken back there.  She could feel the shivers starting to come back.

As she headed off the road and into the dense scrub she was a little relieved to be in the bush.  It was the first time ever though that she had felt that the outdoors was her friend.  It meant that she would be able to easily hide from any passing traffic.  She was certain that someone would start looking for her soon.  In fact she was surprised that she had not seen any cars coming from behind her.  Surely they knew by now that she was gone.  

The outdoors was not exactly somewhere she felt comfortable.  In fact the bush was probably her least favourite place in the world.  She was a city girl.  She loved looking at skyscrapers and bustling people.  Open spaces, trees and animals had little to no space in her life.  Oh what she would give to be surrounded by crowds of people right now.  She found it comforting to just blend into a crowd and feel unnoticed.

Sitting on the ground behind a shrub she watched the car pass.  Torn between relief of not being seen and yet still being alone she could feel a tear roll down her cheek.  Wiping it away she took a deep breath and pulled her baby even tighter to her chest.  He let out a little murmur as if to say it's ok mum, we are together now nothing else matters.

Death By Accident

“Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

Taking a deep breath Joe thought long and hard about the question. Not that it made it any easier. He knew that he didn't really have a choice but to tell the truth, but he still didn't want to.

“Well...” the Judge's voice snapping the young boy back into reality.

Sitting there in the courtroom Joe still couldn't comprehend how things had gotten so out of control.

“Yyyyess. I swear” As the words left his mouth he knew there was no going back now. He could feel the tears starting to burn his eyeballs. Like he didn't have enough to worry about. Now he had to fight off tears as well.

Looking out across the room Joe hoped to see just one friendly face, but there were none. Even his own mother couldn't hide her disappointment in him right now. His eyes came to rest on the prosecutor. He knew that she would begin the questioning. His young body was rigid as the tension began to mount higher than what it already was.

Sally sat there shuffling the papers in front of her. Just a little longer she thought. This was her favourite part of her job. The ball was totally in her court and right now she felt she had more power than most would ever get to experience in their life.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see the young boy trying not to squirm in his seat. She momentarily felt bad. She knew it wasn't entirely Joe's fault. Still kids got away with too much these days. They had to learn. Well this is what most of the community thought anyway.

Standing up she walked towards the stand with her best fake smile plastered across her face. She knew it wouldn't be long till the boy was a whimpering mess begging for forgiveness.

“In you own words Jo, tell the court what happened on the day in question”

“Well...”Jo began. This was the moment he had been dreading.

He could recall every little detail about that day. From what the other boys were wearing to how many trees, pot holes and shrubs there were in Old Man Snowy's front yard. He had relived that day almost every hour since it happened.

Why oh why had they gone there? Of all the places they could have chosen, why there? They knew he was a child hating tyrant. They knew that he would come out and try to chase them off.

Sure his front garden had the best racing ground but still...they should have known better.

He wanted to say it was Sam's idea. The look of terror on Sam's face made him change his mind. Joe had managed to keep his little brother out of it this long he couldn't drop him in it now. Plus if anyone was going to get sent away Joe thought it should be him. After all he was the oldest and at the end of the day he was the one who had been driving the remote controlled car when it swiped into the old man and knocked him over.

“We never meant for anyone to get hurt” was all Joe could get out before the tears started to roll down his hot red cheeks. “We just wanted to see how the car would race round the trees” he sobbed. “He wasn't supposed to come outside, and when he tried to pick the car up...well I thought it would be funny for it to chase him. I never meant for him to fall”

Sally stared at the youngster. She knew he was nine years old but right now he didn't look a day over five as he sat there accused of murder. Suddenly she didn't love her job as much as she normally did. It was one thing to send a guilty adult off to be incarcerated but an innocent child who still had his whole life before him was another thing altogether.

It suddenly became ridiculous for the case to even be in court. She could remember Old Man Snowy from when she was a child. He was an iconic part of the town. That didn't mean that poor young Joe should suffer for something he didn't do.

As an older sister Sally was fairly certain that Joe was protecting Sam. Though not even Sam deserved to be punished, well at least not this severely. They made a poor choice in going there but they never set out to kill. If the front garden were in better condition and not full of pot holes and if the silly old man wore his glasses then he may never have even tripped.

Returning to her chair, Sally tried to think of how she could turn things about.

“No further questions” she said to the court as she took her seat. It was a cowards way out but at least it was a way out.

The End of a Day

Sitting there she could feel her eyes begin to burn. She knew that she should, but she just couldn't. It was all just too hard, as always.

The muffled laughter and drunken chatter was slightly drowned out by the continuous whirring drone from the dryer. The one that she had fought ruthlessly never to purchase but was now secretly glad she had given into.

Her skin was sticky. Both from the sweat and the drink she had earlier spilt.

She didn't know what she was going to do. Bed seemed like a reasonable option but she wondered whether she would actually go to sleep. Lately it didn't seem to matter how sleepy she was sleep was still elusive. A dream so to speak.

It had been nearly a year yet at the same time it felt like forever. As always her life resembled an array of cliches. Pointless metaphors that everyone could pretend to understand yet had no real meaning at all.

Standing up she clicked on shut down.  It was enough for one night.  The answer to whatever she was looking for was not going to be found staring at that screen tonight.  Possibly not ever, but definitely not tonight.

Switching off the kitchen light she trudged her weary body up the stairs.  Each step getting heavier than the last.  She felt like her legs were made of lead.  In fact her whole body felt listless and heavy.

Turning the water on she waited for it to heat up.  Damn cloudy days meant the heater would be a bit slower and the water not as hot as she would really like.  She wanted to feel like she had been steamed clean.  She wanted the water to sting her skin.  She wanted it to feel like little darts of water piercing through her skin reminding her that she was still alive.

It wasn't that she didn't want to be alive but more of she didn't know how.  The past year had felt like it was a combination of slow motion and auto pilot.  The edges were all blurry still and she didn't know what to make of it all.  She knew that she had gotten through this far but how she would keep going remained a mystery.

Realising this was going to be as hot as it got she tried to enjoy what was there.  It wasn't nearly enough.  She needed extra heat to penetrate through the numbness that had engulfed her body.  Reluctantly she turned the hot off.  The water began to run cold, for a second close to freezing.  Only for a second though and only close to.  She was still left feeling unsatisfied and disappointed.  A reflection of life really.

Climbing in between the sheets she wished she had of taken the time to change them.  Yesterday.  After all that was designated sheet changing day.  What did matter now anyway? It was not like there was anyone else to share it with.  And with that the tears started flowing and her head started pounded.  It was all just too much.

Sally and the Psychic

Source

Following the words of a street psychic Sally finds herself at Hamilton homeless shelter unable to leave. Sally had been at the homeless shelter for nearly a month now and it wasn't getting any easier. Times were tough everywhere, there, they just seemed so much worse. Every one had a tale of sorrow and hardship. It was a country western singer's haven. Full of somebody done somebody wrong stories, just waiting to be turned into a tune or two.

Though in the eyes of most that was only to be expected really. A homeless shelter, in the middle of one of the world's largest cities, was not generally the type of place one would go looking for happiness. Of course, happiness wasn't exactly what Sally was looking for. She had hoped that eventually it would come to her, providing of course if she could last that long.

Rolling onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling. Examining yet again the flecks of paint that were peeling off in various sizes. At least it momentarily took her mind off the mattress springs ends that were poking into her. Surely she was wrong. Surely this was not what the psychic meant.

Part of Sally still didn't want to believe there was any truth in what she said. But since the psychic had gone out of her way to get Sally's attention, she thought that maybe there was some possibility she knew what she was talking about.

Sally had been walking down the street on her way home from another tiring day at work, when Celia the psychic called out to her, “What you are looking for will be caught on the corner of 53rd and Smith.” At first Sally thought she was talking to someone else and kept on walking. It was only after Celia called it out again, this time adding, “I am talking to you Sally Robinson” that Sally paid her any attention. “You heard me” was all the old woman would say. Her scratchy voice sending shivers down Sally's spine. Even just thinking about it now Sally could feel the hairs on her arm begin to rise.

Sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of her little bed, she wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her hands along her arms. Perhaps the shivers were due the chilling winds that seemed to be gusting through the shelter. Unlike most people there, Sally didn't have the minimum of four cloth layers to keep her warm. When she first walked through the door, she hadn't expected to be staying long and therefore had not really dressed for the occasion.

After years of blindly walking past the crazy old woman and wishing she would take her crystal ball sideshow to some other pavement, Celia was all that consumed Sally's thoughts. The moment Sally had wished to talk to Celia and find out what she meant, she was gone. Disappeared into thin air. Sally had spent nearly two days waiting for her return but it was not to be, the self professing fortune teller was no where to be seen.

In the days after her encounter with Celia, Sally had gotten little sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she was haunted by the woman's words. After a week, Sally relented and headed to the corner of 53rd and Smith. It wasn't like she had anything to lose...or so she thought.

Being unfamiliar with that side of town, it took Sally a while to find the corner in question. Once there she was sure she had it wrong. Being some what uppity and well to-do Sally had become accustomed to judging a book by it's cover.

Staring at the dilapidated old building she read the shabby sign above the door.

Hamilton Homeless Shelter. Helping you catch life again.

As she began to enter through the door, she was suddenly overwhelmed by the smell of fish. In an instant she felt like she had been swept backed to her childhood. Where as a little girl she would sit and help her father mend his fishing net, ready for the next day's catch. It was only a vague memory, her father had apparently died at sea when she was still only very young. Sally had always questioned the reality of his death.

Before she had a chance to recall any more, she was engulfed by the arms of a stranger. A bubbly little man who would have looked right at home standing amongst a group of dwarfs.

“Welcome, welcome” he gushed as he ushered her in and guided her to the where she now found herself. Where she seemed unable to escape from. As much as she despised the shelter and the wretched souls she shared it with she could not bring herself to leave. It was the first time in years she felt connected to her father and it was a connection she was not yet ready to break.

It had been nearly twenty years since she had last seen or heard from her father. Yet sitting there on the shelter bed she felt close to him. At first she thought it was just the smell from the fresh fish shop next door or the fishing nets hung up in the windows as curtains. But there was something else as well. Some niggling little thought that maybe, just maybe Celia was right.

Hearing the front door open Sally stood up and tidy herself up a little. Perhaps this time it would be him.

The Daily Grind

Source

Looking around the disaster area that lay before her she was amazed at what she saw. Despite having seen the same, or at least similar and perhaps even at times worse, the amazement never ceased. Ever.

Taking a deep breath she began to wade on in, assessing where the best starting point for the day would be. Even though this was not exactly new territory for her, some days she just didn't now where to start.

It would be so much easier to just turn around and run.  And honestly there were days that she wanted to do that.  More than anything there were days where she wished for a magic wand that could make it all disappear.  Turn back the hands of time, erasing what was once and replacing it with something new.

Or at least something different.

It wasn't so much what she was faced, but more so the fact it was always the same. Each and every day. Always the same. It didn't matter what she tried, where she started, how she thought about it, it just didn't matter. The outcome was always the same.

There would always be clothes and dishes that would be waiting to be washed, dried and put away. Only to be used again. Sometimes barely even making it to the next stage before it is need once more. She couldn't believe that maintain wearable clothes for everyone was so time consuming. Between that and providing food on the required regular basis she barely had to get it all done, let alone herself. She was certain that this was not what she had signed up for.

Pausing for a moment she wondered exactly what she had signed up for? What was it she was expecting when she agreed to walk down her current life's path? She knew that it would be like nothing she had experienced before. That was part of the attraction, something new was supposed to equal something exciting, perhaps even better. She had heard others talk of it's great rewards and at the time she thought she was ready. Famous last words though, at the time, given the fickleness of time and all.

Not wanting to dwell on the past or what might have been for too long she went back to finding her starting point for the day. Only it was still too hard. Realising that what was really called for was a nice cuppa she left playroom in the disarray that comes with toddlers and headed for the kitchen. It's not like the mess was going anywhere. She had long given up on the cleaning fairies helping out.

As she waited for the kettle to boil she prepared the dishes for washing. Ensuring that the water was too hot to put her hands. The dishes could soak for a while without making her feel too guilty. Wistfully she stirred the milk into her coffee. Her mind wandering off to other paths she could have chosen.

Years ago, when she had first entered the academy, the procreation and reproductive studies had been her least favourite. It was all presented in such a clinical and non emotional way. Not to mention the emphasis on responsibility. She had always felt the pressure of the responsibility involved with child creating was too great for her. Yet somehow here she was.

Her plans had been to study hard, try her best and hopefully find her way on to a government team. That was where all the big money was. Though it was the prestige and attention that she sought as much as the money. In many ways the money was just the icing on the cake, the thought of being at the forefront of policy making and changing the world at large was really what she was after.

Instead here she was, single handedly raising a bunch of snotty nosed rascals that no one else wanted.

In the early days she had tried to convince herself that the work she was doing with these kids would one day make a difference. Even if only to the children. Now she was worn out and jaded. The system was wrong, it needed to be changed but she doubted it was something she could bring about herself.

Looking at the clock on the microwave she knew it wouldn't be long till the early rises would be up. Ending her peace and quite for at least the next ten hours. The daily grind was about to begin and the monotony of life about to hit full swing.

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