Learning the hard way

Leaning over the washing machine, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, she wondered if this really was all she was ever destined to be? A hysterically over emotional housewife that let the mundaness of life overwhelm her on many more occasions that it should?

Surely not?

Image with thanks to zeafonsofound here

Surely there had to be more to it than that?

"There just has to be" she sobbed to herself as she shoved the last of the load into the machine.

It was the dark load. Which meant to get the most out of the water it had to be the last load washed. A lesson she had learned the hard way when the water restrictions were first introduced.

Trying her very best to make the allocated water stretch as far as possible Natalie was recycling as much of the washing machine water as she could. It was what everyone did, they had no choice if they wanted clean clothes. There were special attachments that modified most washers to make it easy to do. Not that Natalie had one of those because they were worth a small fortune. One that Natalie didn't have to part with.

Thanks to Google and a bit of thought it didn't take Natalie long to work out how to whip up a cheaper homemade alternative. Natalie's version involved some hose pipe and a rather large bucket which had once been a rubbish bin. The only difference really between the paid version and Natalie's was the pump. Which in Natalie's case came in the form of her arms.

However, as good at Google had been at helping Natalie set up her own water recycling device on her machine what it failed to tell her was that it was best to wash the whites and lights first. The dyes from the dark colours will always run into the water. Always.

Sadly though there were days when the dark load just didn't get done. It was the danger of being left till last. Sometimes the enthusiasm for clean clothes disappeared before the last load got washed. Two days ago had been one of those days. Which meant by today dark washing had to be done or her husband would be going to work naked. As would the children to school. The dark load was the load that had the uniforms.

Her husband Michael was a police officer. Which meant the children attended a police run school. Apparently it was one of the perks of the job. Or so they had been led to believe. They had in fact been led to believe there were many benefits to being employed by the forces. Natalie however was not completely convinced all was as it first seemed though.

Love In An Apple Orchard

Image with thanks to gabriel77 found here

The winter of '83 had been a hard one for Sally and her family. Her beloved grandmother passed away leaving her grandfather alone for the first time in over sixty years. And while with spring came new hope, her grandfather was immune to any sign of new life. When his wife died she took with her a lifetime of love. Leaving only a shell of a man behind.

By the time summer arrived her grandfather had lost what little interest in life he had left. He had no desire to watch another season pass on by without his life long love by his side.

Sally had just finished school and was at a bit of a loose end as to what to do next. Logically she knew that she should find some employment and move out of home, but realistically that was the least thing she wanted to do. As much as she wanted to get on and live her life she wasn't really sure how to play it out. Instead she decided that spending some time with her grandfather at the old apple orchard was a much better option.

To begin with the old man made her feel less than welcome. Sally reminded him too much of his wife when they first met and fell in love. She was exactly the same age now as when he and his wife first met. The similarities between the Sally and her Gran were uncanny. It made the pain of his loss cut even deeper than what it already was.

Of an afternoon Sally would drag her grandfather out for a walk amongst the old trees. The trees that he had loved so dearly for nearly a lifetime. The trees that up until a few months ago he and Gran would walk amongst every day from almost the moment they met. Over the years their love for each other grew stronger just as the branches of the apple trees did.

In the middle of the orchard stood the oldest, tallest tree. It was one of the few left from the original plantation. Over the years some trees had to be replaced as their fruiting quality dropped, but not this one. This apple tree was special and not like the rest.

“It's so beautiful at this time of day" Sally pondered out loud, more to herself than her grandfather. He always seemed to get extra quiet when they first sat down.

“Yes that is what your Gran always said as well" her Grandfather replied. Sally glanced over at the old man. She noticed the tears quietly rolling down his cheek and instantly felt her own eyes well and begin to burn with the onset of tears. Blinking quickly she looked away. The pain of his loss almost too much for her to bare. As selfish as that seemed. She could only imagine how much his heart had been shattered in the last few months.

“Today was day I proposed you know? his shaky voice continued. "I can remember it as if it were only yesterday. Right here under this old tree you know.The old man couldn't go on. His words stuck in his throat as he choked back tears."

“Yes Gramps I know" was all Sally could manage.

She had heard the story a thousand times or maybe more over the years. As a little girl it had reminded her of a fairy tale, one where everyone lived happily ever after. There was never any denying the love felt between her grandparents. Blind Freddy could have seen they were a match meant to be. She hoped and prayed that one day she would get to feel a love even half as strong as theirs.

He had organised a picnic with all of her favourite fare. An apple pie he had even gone to the trouble of preparing himself. A crumbly base that he would never live down nor never make again. Not that he would need to once his love had agreed to be by his side.

If only men like grandad still existed Sally thought to herself.

“She wouldn't say yes you know, until I took off that silly fake moustache" Gramps continued. His gaze far off into the distance, as if he could see it all before him.

Sally tried to imagine what it would have been like laying there sprawled out on the blanket looking up at the multi coloured leaves as the sun glistened down between them. Gentle rays filtering through the branches and engulfing the pair's love. She envied their ability to just know they were so right for each.

“I only had it on because she loved Charlie Chaplin so much" he went on, "She was always going on about how wonderful he was and what it would be like to live with such a man.The old man pausing once more as the words got caught in his throat again.

“She was a funny thing your Gran" he started again. "She wouldn't even give me a kiss while I had it on, reckoned it tickled her too much, and that it felt like she was kissing another man

Sally noticed the corners of her grandfather's lips start to curl up and a small smile crept across his face. Even through the pain of his loss the thought of his beloved wife could always bring him comfort in some way. 

That's what true love is Sally found herself thinking.

In the water

Climbing over the rocks between her and the water's edge proved to be a little trickier than Sally first anticipated. Between the heat of the day and her body trying to process the excess toxins from the night before Sally was suddenly a little uneasy on her feet.

Gingerly she placed her foot on the smooth rock, hoping that she would not slid right off. As flat as the rock may have been it was not exactly on the best angle for walking on. Before long though Sally had managed to safely negotiate her way into the water.

The relief that the water brought was both instant and all that Sally thought it would be. It was like her body absorbed the sweet liquid by osmosis. There was no more hot sticky heat. There was no more beads of perspiration trying to break free from the pores of her skin. There was no more throbbing or pounding amongst her brain cells.

In fact there was no more discomfort in any shape or form. It was almost like the water had magical properties.

Laying on top of the water Sally idly floated on her back. The water was starting to chill her previously hot body. The sun on her stomach was a stark contrast to the muscles in her back that were beginning to contract due coolness in the water.

Swishing her hands below her buttocks in a loose figure eight to stay afloat Sally inhaled the fresh air till she could feel it reach the bottom of her lungs. There was something invigorating about bush air. Sally imagined all the little particles of oxygen invading her blood stream and giving new life to the alcohol damaged fibres within her.

Exhaling Sally pushed the air out of her newly filled lungs. Making sure there was not a drop in there she repeated the process a few more times. Spreading her arms and legs out like a starfish Sally moved them in and out in time with her breathing. Each time she inhaled she vislualised her body being filled with fresh new life. With each exhale she saw all the stresses, worries and burdens leaving. Giving an extra big puff at the end to ensure they were all blown away for good. As if it were all that easy.

Feeling slightly invigorated and a lot cooler than when she entered the water Sally was now beginning to feel a little pruney. Her wrinkled finger tips confirmed that she had probably obsorbed enough water for the time being. Flipping over to her stomach Sally headed back to the bank and her towel. Her head felt clear enough now to concentrate on her book.

The Water's Edge

By the time Sally reached the end of the designated path her pounding head had all but gone. The gentle breeze that greeted her as she got to the water's edge whisked the debris left from booze the night before. At least for the moment it did.


Standing there, on the edge of the bank, Sally took a deep breath in. Inhaling all goodness of the fresh air that surrounded her. A few more breathes and her lungs felt invigorated. She could almost feel the extra oxygen flowing through her.

Being there, alone and surrounded by nothing tranquil beauty was exactly what Sally needed. It was the perfect escape from the reality she wanted to ignore. At that moment, in amongst those trees, next to flowing water, her worries were gone and nothing seemed to matter. Sally felt at one with the world and more importantly herself.

Surveying the beauty before her Sally decided to head down stream a little before getting in the water. Sally wanted to make sure that she was away from any possible crowds and decided that was less likely to be the way chosen by others. There appeared to be more rocks in the water and fewer places on the bank to sit.

As much as she longed for the cool refreshment it would bring her she worried that it wouldn't be long before her solitude was destroyed. Given it was such a hot day she was certain she wouldn't be the only local to pop on down to the waterhole to cool down. She just happened to be the only one up and about so early.

As she went along the water's edge Sally kept an eye out for a tree large enough to provide shade for most of the day. Or at least for a few good hours before Sally needed to move. While a hike may have been appealing when she first set off, Sally was now more interested in finding somewhere to set up camp and enjoy relaxing in surroundings.

The effects of last night's drinking session felt as if they were starting to return. Sally could feel the perspiration suddenly start dripping off. The pounding in her head, which she thought had gone, felt as if it was getting ready to come back with vengeance, while the pit of her stomach was indicating a desire to exit.

Deciding that she had had enough Sally settled for the nearest shade possible. Which thankfully was found under a rather large old tree. As Sally lowered herself to the ground it felt more like she was collapsing. All energy mustered by her body for the day felt that it had none been depleted, leaving Sally to wonder how she would ever manage to make it home.

Opening her back pack Sally removed a water bottle and quickly guzzled the cold liquid within. Once again feeling it give life into her weary and dehydrated veins. Spreading her towel out on the ground Sally removed her clothes and headed towards the water. Her body tingling with anticipation of being submerged within the cool fresh water.

Hitting the dirt track.

Turning off the highway and on to the dirt road Sally suddenly felt a little more human. The air around her seemed to change and she began to feel not so hung over. Perhaps even slightly alive.

Picking up a water bottle she thirstily guzzled the cold liquid within. The sensation of it traveling through her veins was not unlike that of the coffee earlier in the day.

Gently activating little buttons within her. Awaking her senses and allowing her to feel all that was around her.

Looking longingly at the wildness before her Sally couldn't wait to be surrounded by nothing but trees. Submersed in her own solitude, totally removed from the real world and all it entails.

Glancing in the rear view mirror there was nothing to be seen but a cloud of red dust. Her veins began to tingle again and she knew that heading out of town for the day was just what the doctor ordered. It was the perfect medicine to forget about constant pressure and stress that she felt at work.

Another fifteen minutes down the track and Sally found herself in a half made car park. Surprised to be there already she pulled the car up under the shade of a tree. Turning the ignition of her ears longed for the sound of silence.

Sally was blasted with a blaze of hot air as she opened the door to get out. Made worse by the cool air conditioning she was leaving behind. She briefly wondered if reading her book in the car with the air con running was a better option than hiking down to some creek or river that may or may not actually be swimmable.

And for a moment it was.

But then out of no where a cool breeze ran gently through the trees and the whispering of the leaves beckoned her into their shade.

Her heart was both glad and disappointed to see a designated path.

She longed for every example of someone else being there before her to be removed. It was easier that way to pretend that she was the only person in existence. To imagine that all she saw before her was there solely for her and her alone. As selfish and self centred as that was, it was still her hearts desire.

Still at least if there was a path she wouldn't have to worry so much about getting lost. Not that she ever worried about it per se, when one had walked as many bush tracks as Sally getting lost was not something you ever wanted to admit to. She did however have a tendency to walk to far at times.

Loving the bush as much as what she did was something Sally had grown up with. Her father was a bush man at heart as well. Growing up her strongest memories were of being out in the bush. Watching birds, hunting for food, enjoying the tranquility that came with swimming in billabongs.

As Sally began to make her way down the rocky path yet nicely shaded path she could feel the weight of the week leave her behind. While the pounding in her head was still there it had slowed and softened somewhat. She could feel each bang lessen with step.

A few deep breaths in and out and suddenly Sally was feeling more alive and relaxed since she didn't know when.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Facing the day

With her coffee cup now empty Sally pondered what to do next. On the one hand the possibilities seemed almost endless but at the same time she wasn't sure if she really could be bothered to do anything. The quandaries of life when you had no one but yourself to think of.

Letting out a deep breath she didn't even know she was holding she took her cup to the sink and rinsed it out and placed in on the empty dish drainer. Looking at the small pile of dishes patiently waiting to be washed Sally decided that they could wait a little longer. Even though there were only a few there she just couldn't face them right then.

The pounding in her head had reduced somewhat but was still present enough to remind Sally it was there. Nothing two panadol and a gallon of water wouldn't fix though. Reaching for the box off the shelf she promptly popped two out of the packet and headed to the fridge for some cold water. Picking up a glass up on the way, she lingered with the fridge door open so she could once again enjoy the cool relief that came with it.

Gulping down big mouthfuls of water at a time Sally immediately felt a little better. It was like the cool liquid reduced her temperature from the inside out. All Sally could think about was submersing herself in water. Only who had a cool bath before eight in the morning? The public swimming pool wasn't really an option either. It was always heavily chlorinated and not conducive to the relaxing submersion that she longed for.

Looking at the weather app on her phone it appeared as if the heat was just going to keep on rising as the day went on. The expected maximin was 35 degrees. Not that Sally really minded. She much preferred to be hot than cold. At least cooling down was much easier than warming up. Once the cold got into her bones Sally found it hard to shake. One of the reasons she took the job in the dusty little mining town was because it was guaranteed to never drop below 18 degrees. Just the way Sally liked it. The other reason was because it was in the middle of no where, where no one knew her which made it easier to try and escape her past. The life she left behind before moving to Tieri was one that she had no desire to remember in anyway. The pain of it all was just too much to bare. Even the slightest detail of it could send Sally into a downward spiral that she feared would one day be the end of her. And while living was not exactly easy some days, it was something that she still wanted to do for a while.

Realising that sitting around the house was not going to do her any good Sally decided it was time to head out for the day. She had heard the locals talk of beautiful walking tracks and natural waterways not too far from town. She had been meaning to investigate them but as yet had not gotten around to it. Generally by the weekend the last thing Sally felt like doing was leaving the house but today she could already feel the walls closing in on her and she just knew it was best to not to sit and dwell today. Today needed to be a day of action else she would fall into the trap feeling sorry for herself and turning to her good friend Mr Alcohol. Thanks to last night's effort she was already on the verge of feeling quite sorry for herself. Besides she tried not to have her first drink until after the pub opened. There were still a few hours before that would happen.

With as much enthusiasm as she could muster Sally filled a couple of water bottles, grabbed a few snacks, her shoes and socks and headed out the door. With any luck a bit of fresh air and hopefully a swim in some rock pool somewhere would be just what she needed.

Having a coffee

Walking into the kitchen Sally headed straight to the coffee machine. There wasn't much that coffee couldn't fix and Sally was certain it would once again be her magic fix. Popping the pod into the slot she pulled the handle down till she heard the crunch of the pod's seal being pierced. Taking a deep breath she tried to wait patiently for the little blue light to flash at her and indicate that it was now time to press the button. Some days, actually most days, waiting for that little flashing light was like waiting for eternally.

There was no doubt about it, Sally was a coffee girl. Sally found it hard to believe some days, just how badly she wanted, if not needed, a cup of the hot steamy liquid that she was certain could bring world peace if everyone just sat down and had one with some cake. She would often happily quip that she thought there was nothing that a good coffee and some cake couldn't fix.

As good as she knew them to be though deep down she knew that there were some problems that the old cake and coffee just couldn't fix. Problems that cut her to the core and would never leave her be. Problems that she was certain would haunt her for the rest of her life. Problems that while coffee didn't fix it did make them bearable. Some days Sally was positive she only made it through the day thanks to the coffee.

She was unable to pinpoint when this caffeine addiction was actually formed. She suspected that it slowly evolved. A natural progression in life that is really just part and parcel of growing up. Wasn't it the drink of adults?

Noticing the light finally flashing Sally pressed the required button. The delicious smell of the fresh coffee beans wafting through the poky little kitchen as a light steam from the machine quickly dissipated into the air. Her nostrils greedily inhaling the the aroma, tantalising her taste buds and kicking her impatience for her fix into over drive.

Opening the fridge door she enjoyed the cold blast that came with it. Now more than ever she was thankful she stood in that awful checkout line last night so she could have milk in her coffee. Yesterday, pouring curdled milk into her fresh brew was not a start she wanted to repeat again any time soon. On the upside, because Sally believed there always was an upside, at least the milk fiasco hadn't happened on a morning where she felt like she did today.

Placing the milk into the froth creating jug and switching it on the buzz of the machines began to drone in her already tender ears. She just kept telling herself it would be worth it in the end. The glorious first sip would gently seep into her soul and spread it's wonder through her. By the end of the cup she would feel ready and set for the day.

Or at least that was the plan. The way it was supposed to go. On many days it was that way, but whether or not today was one of those days remained to be seen. Sally felt she was yet to determine the fate of the day that still lay before. Saturday was one of the few days where Sally felt the was her own. There was no entitlement for her to think any needs save for her own. It was one of the things she loved most about her little shanty style country life.

From Monday to Friday she worked twelve to fifteen hour days that saw her constantly interacting with a range of people. From truck drivers, to geologists, managers, door operators and everything in between. None of them were people that she really had a chance to connect with. If by chance she actually had such a desire. Which for the most part she didn't. Not that it mattered, given the transient nature of most in the industry the turnover of staff was exceptional high. With just over six months of service under her belt Sally was virtually considered a long term employee. Most tended to say for three months. Few could stand it much longer than that, given the toughness of the conditions that were continually faced.

Unlike most of the workers at the mine who flew in and out on a regular basis, Sally actually lived in township that co existed with the mine. She found it easier that way. She had no one to fly home to every week or two. Or at all. There was no where else she needed to be and there wasn't anyone that needed her to be anywhere for them either. Besides she didn't need to regularly go to an airport. They were her most hated place on earth. Or one of. There was no way she could cope with all that regular flying, regardless of the size of the plane or anything else. It was just easier to live near the mine.

The upside to not having a fly in and out position was Sally only had to work Monday to Friday. The shift crews could work for ten to eight days straight. Sally wasn't interested in that kind of life. After five days she needed a break. In fact some weeks she needed that break after only a day or two. There was no way she could last longer than five days with out a break, and if there was then she didn't want to know about it.

Picking up her coffee cup she hoped to find at least one last mouthful left. She nearly felt like she could face the day. Not wanting the fate of the day to be determined by coffee dregs Sally took a deep breath and peered down into her coffee cup.

Oh sweet joy. It looked like there was at least one good mouthful. There was hope for the day after all.