The start of something

This is another of those sitting in my inbox since forever posts that I am not sure what to do with other than just publish.

The title is so fitting to so many aspects of my life though. I am always aware that I am at the 'start of something'. Sometimes I don't think I even know what that something is, I just know that it is something.

Anyway I am starting to ramble and since I have already done that once today I will refrain from any more. It is Tuesday and I have blogged and while I haven't for a while I am a bit excited to be joining in with #IBOT

It was hot and sticky.  The air thick and heavy.  The weather man said it might rain but what would he know?  He was only guessing anyway.  They all were. No one could predict the weather on a regular basis nor any other of life's daily events.  Apparently that was half the fun.  The unpredictability and uncertainty of it all, that was what was meant to keep people going.  Sure spontaneity and surprise had it's advantages but sometimes there was nothing better than a guarantee in life.  Of course these are few and far between but that is what makes them so great.  They are worth the wait.

If you waited long enough even the weather can be guaranteed.

In early October it is only guaranteed to rain if your car windows are down or your washing out.  This becomes void though if it is done on purpose.  Mind you the way the air hung so still there was no chance of rain tonight even if she had forgotten to get the washing in. Assuming of course she had actually managed to put a load on and hung it out.

It had been another long day.  Yet nothing was really accomplished.  She seemed to wade through life without ever touching the bottom or even the sides for that matter.  She certainly wasn't complaining though.  After all no one but herself was the master of her destiny.  Not even the fairies.  Sure they could lead her in the right direction but the choices to make were all her own.

Time and time again she had wished for them to just be able to tell her which choice to make but they never did. Nor would they ever.  It was always the same old answer.  "You must choose yourself, follow your heart"

How was she ever supposed to follow her heart when quite often her head was in disagreeance?

She got up.  Peeling her back from the plastic chair as she did.  How was it possible to sweat so much in such a short period of time?  She had only been sitting outside a few moments and already the sweat was pouring out of her like a leaky tap.

It had been nearly 170 days since it last rained.  Her body longed to feel the cool wet drops rain again.  Surely it wouldn't be to far away now.  It was a little late this year but not yet long overdue. They had gone much longer without rain before.  The year of '73 saw 203 days without rain.  When it did finally come though it didn't stop for a week.

Looking back and moving on

I had thought that yesterday's post would have been enough to get me through today. I thought that I had dumped enough of my feelings enabling me to sail through today almost oblivious to what it marked.

Apparently I could not have been more wrong.

Thanks to Facebook and it's lovely 'you have memories from today' feature I was swiftly reminded of all the pain and sadness I have felt on this day over the last six years. Of course some might say that is what I get for checking Facebook before removing myself from the comfort of my bed but whatever.

So much sighing.

Proving that I really am a glutton for punishment that quite possibly wants to wallow in a pool of my own tears once I had finished torturing myself with my heartbreaking Facebook memories I trawled through the archive of my old blog to see what I had to say about it all over there.

The thing that I really love most about blogging is the record that it gives me. All the moments in time that I manage to capture and freeze for all eternity. Even on the saddest of days.

Over the past few days I have been thinking a lot about my writing and my blogs and what I want from it all and where I think it will go. Sadly a part of thinks the answer is nowhere.

As much as I may have a way with words and a story to tell, it is quite possibly not something that will ever be seen by the masses. And I think for the first time in a long time, possibly even ever, I am ok with that.

I haven't given up completely on the notion I will one day be a published author, just the notion that this space will break the internet, because it won't. This space is for me. For me to reminisce, to make sense of my thoughts, to save for years to come.

With that in mind here the collection of all the other posts I have written on this day. 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2013, 2014. My mind is going into overdrive trying to work out what made me not write in 2010 and why the posts from 2013 actually talk about it June rather than now. My guess is that my grief in June was so great that by October I had figured I had gone on about it all enough.

With my new found attitude towards blogging, which will hopefully see me writing more, I have decided to step down from #teamIBOT. Unfortunately the last few months commenting on other people's blogs has felt somewhat of a chore. Which is not the way that it should be.

I want to get back to leaving a comment because the post touched me in some way not because I feel obligated. I just don't have it in me anymore to be the old blogging me that commented all over the place in the hope people would come by and do the same. I want readers who want to be here to see what I have to say rather than dropping by on account of some implied obligation to return comment love. This also means that I will not be joining in linkies (well after today) or hosting Thankful Thursday anymore.

Joining in with Jess for the last time for a bit and hoping that you will still keep popping by once in a while.

Just putting it out there

It is a most beautiful early spring morning. Early in spring rather than actually early in the morning mind you. The kids have all been deposited at school, well The Little Two have been, The Teenager is still at home in bed. She has been unwell for a week or so now though she assures me she is going to school today just after the first period. Normally I would be fighting with her and pushing her to go but today I just don't have it in me. Not when her body desperately needs to rest.

Instead I have brought myself here. 

There is coffee and a gentle breeze. Though the gentle breeze I could almost do without. While the sun may be shining there is little warmth in her golden rays. 

My ears are filled with the sounds of birds calling img and singing out to one another. Willy wagtails and ducks are the only ones I can name though. The others flitter about in the tops of the tress making me unable to identify them. I manage to catch a quick glimpse of a very small olive green bird. The colours similar to one we saw at Warren National Park earlier in the year. Mr Writes said they were called a silver eye on account of their brilliant silver eyes. I can't remember now whether I took his word or checked in the book. 

It feels funny calling home Mr Writes now. He hasn't stopped being awesome just with the new blog and all I thought perhaps new names for us all was in order as well. 

Sigh. 

Not that it really matters I guess. 

I've had to leave my beautiful spot and start heading back towards home. My day is awaiting. 

When I first sat down and started writing this I thought it was going to be about how as much as I love being here I still don't really feel like I fit in. It's hard to find someone like me.

I mean I don't want them to be just like me because I love being unique, but just someone similar. You know, they like to write, have kids the same age, don't have to work every day...surely that's not too much to ask is it? If they liked to go for a run every now and then that would be even better. 

Just putting it out there

Joining in with Alicia for Open Slather 

Liebster Award

The other day as I was flapping about in the land of Facebook I noticed that someone was sharing the joy that they had been nominated for the Liebster Award. I let out a bit of a sigh and wished that someone would be so kind as to nominate yours truly for one.

Sure I have been nominated a few times before in the past back in my APL days but it is always nice to know that someone is thinking of you when these things go around. Technically though I figured that would never happen again because I thought that one of the requirements was to have fewer than 200 followers.

As it turns out though I was wrong. On all fronts.

Firstly the ever so lovely Lydia over at Where the Wild Things Were kindly made my day and nominated me. In the process of writing this post I was curious to see if there were any 'official rules' as such for the Liebster Award and as it turns out (not really surprisingly) there is a post stating what the official rules are.

Anyways without any further ado here are the answers to the questions from Lydia

What makes you happy?
Right this very moment the things making me happy include knowing I am relatively on top of the housework, the fact that I am writing something, the cool Jazz station I found on iTunes radio and the yummy fruit toast I just finished devouring.

Other things that generally make me happy include coffee, running, hanging with Mr Awesome, watching the girls interact, being on the road, the bush, the beach, actually just nature in general.

Why did you start blogging?
Gosh, I started blogging so long ago it is hard to remember the exact reasoning.

I have always wanted to be a writer. When I was about fourteen I just knew that one day I would have a book published. I had the feeling that it probably wouldn't happen till I was in my fifties though so I never bothered actually writing much.

When Zany was little I knew that I didn't want to go back to real work so I tried my hand at earning money online. Writing seemed like the easiest way to do that. Of course it wasn't. I did however make some money from selling online articles and from there it just seemed a natural progression to start a blog. I wanted a place to direct people to if they wanted to read more of my words.

What is the best thing anyone has ever said about your blog?
A few years ago at a blogging conference I was hanging out with a group of bloggers. We were discussing different types of blogs and their successes. At the time lots of the 'big bloggers' all had horrendously sad back stories. Someone was telling someone else how in her darkest days she would pop over and read my blog to pick herself up again.

My heart nearly melted.

I loved that my words could make someone feel better about things without me even realising it.

Mind you since then there have been times when I have felt incredible pressure (from my own stupid mind) to make sure that my words are still uplifting and positive.

What are your top three bucket list items?
I actually don't have a bucket list. Some of the things I do want to do though include finishing our lap of Australia and having a book published.

What is the one thing you can't live without?
I think a better way to word this question would be what is the one thing I don't want to live without. The obvious answers being Mr Awesome and the girls. Material possessions are easily done without in my book. Having said that though living without decent internet is incredibly sucky.

What is your favourite Australian travel destination?
Uhmmmmm....yeah...

Have you travelled Australia? It is a truly amazing place and picking a favourite is incredibly hard. If I had to narrow it down it would be a toss up between Ningaloo and the Valley of the Giants. Mind you the Wetlands of the Northern Territory still hold a special place in my heart and I would love to see the Daintree region and High Country in Victoria.

What two countries make you happiest to visit?
Honestly I don't have much of a desire to travel overseas. Sure it would be pretty cool to see France or Italy or even some of the Greek Islands, but I am also rather content exploring my own back yard for now.

What is your favourite and least favourite word?
Well my least favourite word is just awful. Thankfully it is not one that is generally used often and I dislike it so much I just refuse to say it. Even thinking about it now just makes me cringe. It starts with C if you really must know and that is all that I will say about that.

Obviously being a writer I am a bit of a lover of words in general but I am not sure I have a favourite. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is a rather cool word but I do not use it on a regular basis. Magnanimous is also on the cool list but again not something I actually use much.

If you found out that due to a mix up at the hospital one of your kids wasn't yours, would you give it back?
If I found out today no, not a chance. If however I found out after the first few weeks of birth then quite possibly.

So now the hard part.

Choosing three other bloggers to pass this award onto and share the warm ad fuzzy feeling with.

Drum roll please for....

I opened my mouth and it ran away without me

Nessville


Colours of Sunset

Thankful for running and free videos

It has been another action packed week here in the Awesome house. So action packed in fact that I have not been able to find the time to blog. Well, that is not completely true. I managed to get this much out the other day

It's Tuesday and I am adamant that I will blog. I have a mere two hours and forty three minutes in which to tap something out so that I can join in with the ever awesome Essentially Jess for her IBOT linky.

Mind you I have been trying to get something out all day long and as yet I have been relatively unsuccessful. Of course sitting here watching The Interview isn't is exactly...

I closed the laptop on account of the movie looking like it showed the promise of being watchable. I was wrong. Oh so wrong. Thankfully though it was a free movie so other than my time nothing was lost. 

After getting my WA drivers license a few weeks ago, I got around to joining the local video store. Since Mr Awesome got rid of Netflix the only hope I have of finishing my How I Met Your Mother marathon is via DVD. 

I went to hire the season I had started but not finished only the guy at the counter couldn't get the case opened. Thankfully though the other store in town had a copy and on account of the inconvenience of making me drive five minutes to go and collect it, it was free.

For days, I waited for the right time to snuggle up in bed and return to my fictitious friends. The only DVD player we had was in the bedroom you see. When finally that time was found, late on a Saturday afternoon, it turned out that there was only one episode of the season I had not seen. I was rather thankful that it had turned out to be a free hire!

My other big thanks of the week goes to running. Twice this week I got the old joggers on and went for a run. Man it felt good. One run was all about seeing how far I could go without stopping and the other was to go as fast as I could. I am so thankful that I have the time, inclination and health to get out there and move.

What about you? 

What are you thankful for this week?

An InLinkz Link-up

Diving on in

Well as of today it is official. 

A Parenting Life is no more. 

Well it it technically still is still open for viewing but I will no longer be posting there. From here on in all new posts will appear here. Which is a bit exciting, and a little scary.

It is exciting because a fresh start is always exciting. It is a little bit scary because I have not had a chance to set up everything here just like I would like to. Mind you after nearly three months of waiting to set things up just right I am starting to wonder if I would ever actually get around to it.

So here I am, with things not quite right. 

Instead they are a little rough around the edges and not anything like perfect. Much like myself. Which I guess is in many ways incredibly fitting.

So here we are. 

A brand new blog just waiting to be filled with all my words of wisdom.

Sadly though my words of wisdom have been failing me of late. As I mentioned a little while ago back on APL, I have been struggling to come to terms with some of the changes we have been faced with lately which has in turn meant my words have slowed.

Sigh.

I am hoping though that has all come to an end now though. 

Mind you if I keep trying to blog while watching TV that may possibly never happen. Mr Awesome thoughtfully decided to cancel our Netflix subscription on account of being able to access Presto free for six months via our new fang dangled Telstra T Box. Which may on some levels sound particularly cool on account of being able to watch Presto without it counting towards our monthly download limit but since Presto doesn't have How I Met Your Mother it is actually quite a let down.

Since I haven't been able to continue with my How I Met Your Mother marathon I decided to begin a My Name is Earl marathon. Well not at marathon as such but more a it is late at night and I need some background noise situation. I (wrongly) thought that My Name Is Earle would not be a distraction to my writing on account of already having seen so many episodes.

As much as I may have watched so many episodes in the past, I had forgotten how much the show warmed my heart.

It probably comes as no surprise that I love the idea of doing things to right wrongs and making life better whenever you can. There really are so many lessons to be learnt from such shows. Lessons that if it wasn't ridiculous o'clock at night I would possibly be able to go into more detail. 

However it is crazy o'clock on Tuesday morning and I have blogged so I can share with all the #IBOT gang

Brain emptying done wrong

This image, of flood plains out at Kakadu, has very little to do with anything in the post, I just like it. A lot.

I have been sitting here (not here as in the above image, just here as in my lounge) with the laptop open on my lap for nearly forty five minutes now. I had a scroll through the Bidding Wars page to see if there were any bargains I needed to bid on. There wasn't but it took quite a time to decide that.

From there I went and had a quick look to see if there was anything of interest in my newsfeed. There wasn't. Sarah over at Move Fuel Love, had shared a photo of Darwin sunset and the current temperature. It made me want to stab her eyeballs just a little.

It rained for 30 seconds this morning in Darwin and at almost 8pm it's currently 28C. BUT the sunsets sure are pretty  This is Winter in the Top End.

Posted by Move Fuel Love on Monday, 15 June 2015

Not only was the sunset amazing, as Darwin sunsets so often are, but at nearly 8pm it was still twenty eight degrees. Twenty eight god dam degrees!!! The only way I can even get close to such a delightful warmth is if I have the air con cranking up that high.

Oh how times change.

There once was a time when I had the air con cranking at eighteen degrees because I so desperately wanted to snuggle under a doona. Now I have it as high as I can, which actually happens to be only twenty six degrees, just so I don't have to wear five hundred layers of clothes.

It would be fair to say that winter and I are not the best of friends. I mean I do love being able to go for a run bang smack in the middle of the day and not dying from heat exhaustion but there is just a small part of me that is longing to be just a little bit warm without having to stand under scolding hot water. Because FYI it turns out that constantly showering in scolding hot water leads to a rather dry scalp which then in turn leads to dandruff.

There was no dandruff in my hair when I lived in the tropics and it bugs me insanely that my locks are constantly infiltrated with little white flakes now.

Sigh.

When I started this post, oh so long ago now, thanks to the concentration of a goldfish and being called on to go pick up the husband from hockey, I had planned on joining in with the ever so lovely Miss Cinders for her monthly emptying of the brain. Only when I went there just now I realised I completely and utterly missed the brief.

I thought (very wrongly) that it was a free association writing thing where you just sat and wrote whatever hair brain idea passed between your ears. As I have so clearly done. But it is not. Well not entirely. There are some loose statements to answer.

Double sigh.

Luckily I have more than one blog so I can pop over to APL and do it there. And even more luckily (totes acceptable grammar in the blog world btw) it is Tuesday and I have blogged so I can join in with EssentiallyJess and the IBOT gang